The Wind Beneath My Wings

13 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment

by Shilpa in Family Tags: Aai, Mamma, Mom, Mother

Hi!! Guys, I’m back after what seems like a long stint of nearly two months. Not that I was bitten by the ‘writers block’ bug but my ongoing allergy situation had aggravated a bit. And moreover, the topic I wanted to pen down exclusively about my Mom was somehow not flowing from my heart the way I wanted it to be.

So here it is, the unscripted version of someone who has had a profound impact on my life and someone who has been my pillar of strength through the trials and tribulations, through sickness and in health – the most sweetest, gentlest, loving, caring, understanding species I have known all my life, my Mom.

Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your Heart go walking around outside your body. ~ Elizabeth Stone

No matter how much ever I write, words would fall short to justify, express and describe what important role a Mother plays in one’s life. Mother’s I believe are like a steady light house guiding their kids through life. It’s immaterial how grown up you are. At times you still need the love, care, understanding, forgiveness and guidance not only when your life suddenly becomes positively whacked but also while dealing with the everyday melancholy.

Mother – that was the bank where we deposited all our hurts and worries. ~ T DeWitt Talmage

Flashback to scene 1985……
This blog is solely dedicated to none but my Momz whom we lovingly call Mamma. For as long as I remember she has been a highly professional and an independent lady all her life with a stable career with one of the leading National Banks in Mumbai. As a kid I was used to her absence. But trust me I thoroughly despised the years when we were put in crèches. How can I forget the years where maids who looked after us eloped in matter of months sometimes even in matter of days. It was horrendous!! Though I missed my Mom being at home I knew she had to do that for the family so that we can have things probably as a kid which she couldn’t have. I remember getting our first color TV which was exclusively imported from Dubai in the late 80’s. Though an extravagant splurge my parents didn’t think twice before getting that for us.

As a kid I remember one of the rare gifts from my parents had been a digital watch when I was in third grade. I remember I was the only one in the entire class to own a costly digital watch. How glad I was when every other class mate would pop up and enquire about the good looking watch. It was one of my pride possessions and I knew I was lucky to have things which were not easily available at other kids disposal. I don’t remember a single moment where I had asked for something and my parents especially my Mom had denied that. Not that we got our way with everything as they were quite strict about certain things. No points for guessing that I was quite a pampered kid.

Flashback scene 1992……
As I grew up and started life in college, I became busy with my friends, watching movies and just hanging out with them. My shopping destinations changed from Mumbai’s Borivali Station to uber cool Fashion Street, Bandra and Lokhandwala Complex and my eating joints were no longer the simple local restaurants. I was living in a world of my own. I believed and thought that social life, friends and et al was the centre of one’s universe. Those were the utmost toughest rebellion teenage years of my life. You know the years, where you are hit by the syndrome: I’m always Right and you are always Wrong!! As years went by I didn’t know I would be in for a BIG surprise. It’s sad how at times while growing up we take some things for granted. It just takes one twist of fate and the gruesome, unpredictable ways of life for our delusion to melt. Now when I look back all those everyday things – the food that appeared miraculously on time, the clothes that were immaculately ironed, stacked neatly in the closet and the dinners that we enjoyed together brings a smile to my face. Makes me glad to think that there are certain rock solid relationships in our lives for which we don’t have to take the extra efforts to get them back on tracks.

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family. ~ Lee Iacocca

With time not only my social life faded into oblivion but also my and so-called good and best friends did a la vanishing act. Wow!! Where the hell were they when I needed them the most especially during the last ridiculously painful six years of my life?? So much for offering my friendship, love, care, compassion, understanding, support and above all loyalty!! Yet, I cannot deny that there are still those who have stuck around no matter what. And I’m truly lucky to have such Angelic souls around me.

But it was only then that I started rediscovering my relationship with Mom. We had a blast. The shopping expeditions, movies, plays and the outings were never the same. Friends or no friends, it hardly mattered to me anymore. As she became my closest confidant, friend and guide all rolled into one. Even today sharing the crazy jokes, banter and the day to day vagaries of life with her soothes my withered soul when life hits the lowest ebb. I cannot forget the times she’s made me laugh till my insides hurt. It’s funny how God puts a smile back on your face in the midst when your life seems like a total wreck. Well……that’s not God…….that’s my sweetest Mom in His earthly form.

A Mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us, when adversity takes the place of prosperity, when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us. ~ Washington Irving

Your Hug is a pill that always works.....

Present Day……
Mamma stood by me as I battled with chronic urticaria and lent her loving shoulder to weep – all of which took place in the space of six long unbearable years. The dreadful times (which were too many) when I was hit by severe allergy attacks and had to place emergency calls to her while she was working are etched on my mind forever. Despite being bowed down by awful work load she didn’t think twice before hitting home much to the despise of her colleagues. It was then that I realized that the two people I rebelled against were the only ones who were standing beside me while everyone else had moved on.

The times when I begin to think that I had stumbled and lost my race against time, my Mom kept on giving me words of hope, love, encouragement, gently prodding me to pick up the pieces of my life – there was no plan, just getting up and going on, one step at a time, one day at a time. Not that it’s over now, but without the loving support of my parents, especially my Mom the truth is that, I wouldn’t have been ALIVE. She’s still the one trying to bring me out – as much as possible – from the abysmal grief of never ending struggle with urticaria, helping me mend my broken wings so I could fly once more.

My Doctors told me I would never walk again. My Mother told me I would. I believed my Mother. ~ Wilma Rudolp

Words from the Heart
It is said we are all standing in a circle whatever good or bad we sow comes back to us either in this life time or other. That’s the simple law of Karma. At a time when I was thinking probably I should not have stood by some of my so-called best friends in the past, I realized it had all come back to me in the form of my sweetest guardian Angel – Mamma. A beautiful saying in Marathi goes like “Swami Tinhi Jagacha, Aai Vina Bhikari” which means “Master of all worlds, without a Mother is a beggar!” This small saying encapsulates the essence of the role a Mother plays in one’s life.

Tomorrow when I have my family its not the now visible and then invisible friends or relationships I’m going to miss the most. The only One person I’m gonna Miss in the entire world would be my Mom. And the day when my little ones tell me “Mamma you are Great!!” with a contended smile on my face I would know in my heart where that’s comming from……

And now, as life moves on its unpredictable path, there remains a feeling of someone being always there and that there is an emotional bond that can withstand all vagaries of time and life. It reminds me Mamma, that you were there at the dawn of my personal stories and I know you will be there till the inevitable dusk. Amen!

So, this one’s for you my dearest sweetest Mamma – “The days and years still blossom with seeds of love she sows……A Mother is that lifelong blessing your heart never outgrows.”

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